


Vitiligo

by Mufffy



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Squip, Angst, Body Dysphoria, Crying, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hiding Medical Issues, References to Depression, Self-Harm, vitiligo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 22:49:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16396574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mufffy/pseuds/Mufffy
Summary: I was seeing a lot of michael and vitiligo and michael trans and michael this and I love the Michael stuff, but i thought Jeremy would make an adorable turn out





	Vitiligo

**Author's Note:**

> I really wasn't trying to make people with vitiligo feel horrible or anything, but i have a liking of the 'disease' which, i think is a beautiful disease. I just really love it and want everyone who has it to know i love your skin and your body and you shouldnt shame yourself or hate yourself because youre different
> 
> I hope you guys like this story

Jeremy's life started to end when he noticed his stomach, growing weird markings. There was a definite line, cutting his stomach in half as one side was his natural reddish-pink, pale skin tone. On the other side of his belly button, it was a soft creamy color. It was light enough to not notice, but right next to his own skin tone it stood out horribly and anyone who saw it would notice instantly. He didn't know a lot about his mom, but his dad said something strange about her skin before. He decided to look it up, getting a few results for sunburn or skin cancer. It was something called vitiligo. Although it didn't occur when he was born, it most often appears when you're twenty to thirty. Jeremy was only sixteen, but it was still possible. Even if people with blue eyes had less of a chance to develop the trait. Jeremy was cursing his luck.

He decided not to tell Michael. Maybe in a month or two, he would when it stopped. For the next two weeks, he would change in the other room or in a stall to hide it from Micael. When he asked why Jeremy was being so weird all Jeremy could do was tell a lie and say he was having body issues, which, wasn't a complete lie. Michael and he still hung out and talked and played video games. Most of the time Jeremy forgot about his stomach. Until he got dressed in his room one morning and he noticed the dots and splotches were moving down his thighs. He knew it wasn't a doctor visitation kind of thing, considering it was perfectly healthy, just abnormal. 

He still told his dad and took him to the doctor that morning. He found out that his issue could actually be fixed with a surgery. Jeremy decided to postpone it obviously because he didn't know how much longer it would keep turning. He decided to go to school and confront Michael. When Michael asked he simply said he went to the doctor that morning. He chickened out so quickly. He didn't know what compelled him to keep it a secret, but he didn't want anyone to know. Not Michael, he really didn't know his dad to know but that couldn't be helped.

The spreading had stopped around his knees, forcing him to wear long pants, even when it was nearing spring. Michael had noticed and asked questions. Jeremy couldn't really answer so he just passed it off as being cold, even when he was sweating. Michael suggested going to the doctor again so Jeremy did the next day. Everything was perfectly fine with him, expect his emotions. He was hating his body more and more. He wanted to go swimming, but really couldn't. It was almost the end of the year and he couldn't even go to the summer celebration at the public pool. Sure he never liked the pool anyway, but it was still nice to go and have fun with Michael.

Michael seemed upset that Jeremy had been distant, but what was Jeremy supposed to do? His vitiligo got so bad it moved all the way to his feet. One entire foot was a different color than the other. He didn't know how to tell Michael. He knew he'd have to, but he just couldn't. He spent the first day of summer crying on the floor in front of his mirror.

For the next four months, there seemed to be no progress. He'd check and check and check and nothing would be different. He thought maybe it had been over. He went to Michael's house on one weekend where Michael had gotten him into a corner.

"So why haven't you been around lately? It seems like all summer you were inside and hiding away and anytime I saw you, you were wearing long clothes and.. I'm just worried" Michael whispered, messing with his controller. Jeremy had felt guilty, but now he's even more guilty for making Michael so upset. He'd pushed him away and away until there was no more to push "Are you just gonna give me the silent treatment then..?" Michael frowned, tearing up.

Jeremy dropped the controller in front of him and turned to hug Michael tightly. He couldn't say anything but cry himself. He had no excuse or lie, so he tried to be honest "..I'm so sorry, Micha" He whispered, gripping the back of Michael's hoodie as Michael hugged Jeremy's thin waist "I.. I-I don't know what's wrong with me" He whimpered out, crying into Michael's shoulder. He didn't expect it to escalate or even lead to this, but Michael accepted it.

"It's okay.. Just don't leave me in the dark" Michael whispered. And Jeremy did.

He never got to tell Michael because as soon as he was ready to tell Michael the next school day, he noticed spots of his chest changing. He noticed one side trailing up to his shoulder. He couldn't tell Michael now. Not when things were changing again. Michael would think it was weird or gross, maybe even hate him. He didn't go to school that day and laid in bed. He hid under the covers in long pants and a long shirt. He didn't want to have to look at it. He didn't want it. He hated his body even more. Every day more and more grew and more and more hate clouded his mind. 

Michael took notice one day when it was down to Jeremy's wrists and moving to his hands. Michael pulled him directly out of class and excused himself and Jeremy for the teacher, not even waiting for the teacher to say anything before taking Jeremy by the wrist and leaving the room.

"What is up with you?"

"I'm sorry" Jeremy blurted quickly.

"You've been acting shady ever since the spring. Wearing long clothes and even ditching out annual pool party-"

"I'm sorry"

"Now you're not even here every day"

"I'm sorry"

"It's like every other week I'm trying to figure out if you're gonna be here or not!"

"I'm sorry" Jeremy sobbed, holding back tears.

"It's like... you've been avoiding me! More and more and I'm sick of it!"

"I'm.."

"I'm your best friend and you're just ignoring me and treating me like I'm not there"

"I.. I-"

"Are you cutting or something? You can talk to me about these things" Michael whispered.

Jeremy stared at him as he tensed and lowered his head to start crying. He hadn't noticed how far he'd pushed Michael. If he had just showed Michael before or even told him he wouldn't be ashamed or scared to tell him. Jeremy's legs buckled and gave out on him, leaning onto Michael. Michael gave in and lowered them both to the ground to hug him tightly, laying his cheek on Jeremy's curly mess. Jeremy knew he fucked up, but not this hard. Michael had no idea what was going on, and never would if Jeremy could help it. Michael held him until the bell rang and helped him to his next class, hugging him tightly before Jeremy could walk in.

Jeremy didn't pay attention for the rest of the day. He walked home alone to make sure Michael wouldn't ask him to hang out. If he did there'd be a big chance his hands would start changing and Michael would notice. Jeremy stared down at his hands as his palms stayed the same, but the back was turning colors. He hated himself for ignoring Michael. Maybe he should cut. Maybe Michael was right and he should just leave him alone completely or just off himself. Life would've been so much better if he'd just never been born.

Jeremy spent the rest of the day sitting on the bathroom counter, staring at his face. He honestly had no idea what he was doing, but maybe if he kept staring then it wouldn't change. He moved his neck every so often and looked at his neck, noticing the spots creeping up. He sighed and leaned his forehead on the mirror. He stared down at the razor blade he took out of the razor and picked it up. He chucked it in the toilet bowl, watching the blood from it bleed into the water and let it set there. His dad would figure out what happened after finding Jeremy's bandaged wrist.

In the next two days, Jeremy's dad never said anything to him. He was a lot nicer and gentler with Jeremy, hugging him a lot more and praising him for being a nice kid. Anything Jeremy could be good at, Paul made sure it was known to Jeremy. And it almost made him feel better. Until the markings moved onto his face. His left eye was having a ring around it and his right eyebrow was lined with the different color. He had spots around his mouth and the whole left side of his face was a different color than the rest. And he.. sobbed.

He stayed home for the next day, unsure of what to do or tell anyone. He cried alone and didn't tell anyone anything. He cut off his connections to his friends and dad. He locked himself away in his bedroom, watching Netflix on the laptop under the covers. His dad would knock every so often and offer food to him, or just knock and say he loved him or something. He'd unlocked the door with a key he had just to make sure Jeremy hadn't.. done something he regret. Paul really didn't understand how to go about this so he left Jeremy to his own.

He watched seventeen movies and four series in the week he was left alone. Paul finally took action and called Michael to help. When Michael had been told Jeremy "locked himself away'' He knew it wasn't good already. Once he got to the house the first thing he did was try to open the bedroom door.

"Jeremy? Jer, it's me, Michael"

Jeremy tensed and paused his show, closing the laptop to sit up.

"Please open the door.. I miss you. I feel like I've lost my best friend" Michael yelled over the door "Please.. I need to see you"

Jeremy's heart raced in disgust as he thought of his own face, looking at his hands "..No, you don't" He mumbled, hugging his knees tightly "I'm hideous" he whispered.

"No, you're not!" Michael protested, staring at the ground "You're my Jeremy.. and I need him. So tell mopey Jeremy to get your ass out here" Michael laughed softly. Jeremy didn't laugh, but he knew it was funny so why didn't he laugh?

"You'll hate what you see" Jeremy muttered, laying back down to pull the blankets up.

"I won't. There's no way in hell I'd ever hate my best friend! He's perfect in every way and I love him for him. He could go blind or bald or lose his hearing and I'd still love him all the same. I'd learn sign language or held him move around. The best friend I know would let me help and want it. And you're my best friend.. So whether you're blind or bald, get your ass out here"

Jeremy smiled at that and stood up. He was thankful he covered the mirrors weeks ago. He held his hand over the door, holding the lock. He didn't want to face Michael. He never did, but it was something he had to do. He cried as he unlocked the door and quickly hugged Michael, hiding his face under his chin. Michael stumbled with the force of his hug, gently, but still tightly hugging him back "..I missed you" Michael whispered.

Jeremy cried, knowing he couldn't pull back now. It was out. There was no way to hide it if he pulled away.. So he didn't For ten straight minutes Jeremy cried and held on as Michael rubbed his back and played with his hair. Jeremy knew it would've felt better if he could look up at him. And there it was.

Michael tried to pull away, but Jeremy only hugged tighter. Michael gently forced him off, Jeremy hiding his face. Michael quickly grabbed him by the face and raised their faces so they could see eye to eye. Jeremy stared at Michael for a second before squeezing his eyes tightly, letting more tears fall. Michael was deadly silent. Jeremy pulled away slightly like a frightened animal and quickly stood up to back into his room "I'm sorry- I shouldn't have-"

Michael quickly stood up when Jeremy was about to close the door, holding it open. Michael only stared at him in shock. Jeremy didn't quite like it, rubbing his arms "C- .. C-could you stop?" He mumbled, glancing away.

Michael jolted and looked down at his feet "Yeah- sorry! Sorry, I just... It's so cool" He whispered "It's just.. beautiful"

Jeremy stared at him before trembling "You don't.. think I'm some freak?" He mumbled softly, smiling at Michael.

"Of course not! This is.. Kind of awesome" Michael laughed "I've never seen anything like it in real life.. It's vitiligo I think, god, it's beautiful" He smiled "..Is this why you haven't been hanging out and ignoring me so much?"

Jeremy frowned but nodded "I didn't.. want you to see everything" He whispered.

"..I'm sorry I was so pushy with you. I should've just reassured you like I am now" He sighed, moving forward to hug him "I'm so sorry, Jer.. but I just. I love you, and don't let some skin tones fuck you up"

"I won't" Jeremy snorted "..Do you wanna see everything else?" Jeremy smiled softly.

"Hell yeah!" Michal laughed "Can you take off your shirt, please? I gotta see this"

Jeremy laughed and obliged, taking his shirt off and changing into some loose volleyball shorts. Michael spent hours looking at him and looking at shapes and spots. Michael even pointed out a star on the back of Jeremy's shoulder. For the next month, Jeremy was the talk of the school, sometimes getting new spots and skin changes. It was the same for the most part. Jeremy finally felt free and could live his life again. The growth was over, but he still loved his body. The scars, weight and skin tones. He loved all of it. All thanks to Michael.

Up until he got a new upside down heart between his eyes, on his nose.

He only found out when Michael would kiss his nose and tell him he kissed his heart. It confused Jeremy for a few hours until he looked in a mirror. Then he punched Michael.


End file.
